just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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