I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
