She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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