Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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