Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
