Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
