She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
