I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
