he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
