Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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