Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
