i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
