good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You have to summon your inner elephant
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
