So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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