how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
