What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
