his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
