Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
