I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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