you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
