One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
