I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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