Christians are straight up FREAKS
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
