bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I stole a fireplace last night.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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