I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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