Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
