i just had sex bonerless
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
