And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize