He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I have post one night stand depression
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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