Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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