Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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