That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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