i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize