I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
