Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
