but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
