at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i dont even know how to be here
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
