I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
