you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
