Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
