Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
