id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
