Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
