I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I have feelings that need drinking.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize