You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i believe in u and ur pee
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
