I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
