I think I am morally bankrupt
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
