ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
