My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
