my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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