ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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