Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
