So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
