Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
