i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
