yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
