Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
