Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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