I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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