Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
