she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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