I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
