Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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