Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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